They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
