apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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