don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
So much rum. So many feels.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
