I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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