How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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