I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
