Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
He uses pillows to masturbate.
and she was petting her beer can
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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