i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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