it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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