I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
