KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
