I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Randomize
