he thought i was a dude.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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