bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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