I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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