i was born a porn star she said
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Randomize
