you win again, gameday.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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