He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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