sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
