I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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