Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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