the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
