i jhust puked up my retainher.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
