I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Randomize
