I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
