she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
