woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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