Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
