I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I don't think brook has ever known best
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
