Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
