What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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