if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i would punch a child for taco bell
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
