Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
