I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
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