Joe is yelling at the trees again.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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