By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
