also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
