I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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