I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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