HIV tests are more positive than that guy
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Randomize
