Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
