in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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