Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
