im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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