idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
