Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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