My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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