What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
