woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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