I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
