Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
