yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Randomize
