Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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