oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
