lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
you would pick up someone in the library
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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