she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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