They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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