Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
