I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
