I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
