I wanna passion pit in your ass
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
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