There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I look better un-naked...
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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