Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Randomize
