Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize