Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
