what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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