eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Randomize
