there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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