We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
