she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
