Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
