you would pick up someone in the library
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
