That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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