is your mom at the bar?
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
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